Are You Ok? Or Are You On a One-Way Train to Chaos?
How to check in on a friend with care, not judgment.
Welcome to another 5-Minute Fix!
Today, we’re exploring how to speak to a friend whose life feels like it’s slipping into unhinged territory marked by late-night parties, reckless choices, and nonstop drama.
You love them fiercely, but you also see the toll it’s taking. How do you check in without sounding like a lecture or pushing them further away?
Let’s find the words that balance concern and compassion, so they know you’re here… even when their world feels off the rails.
FRAME(work)
F – Find Your Calm: Center yourself in genuine care, not panic. Remind yourself your role is to offer support, not to scare or shame them.
R – Reflect on the Facts: “I’ve noticed you’ve been out every night, and you’ve messaged me that you ‘can’t stop,’ and that sounded serious.”
A – Acknowledge Your Feelings: “I care about you deeply, and I’ve been feeling worried because I’m not sure you’re okay.”
M – Make a Clear Request: “If something big is happening, please let me in. I want to listen and help, no judgment attached.”
E – Engage Without Expectation: “You don’t have to share right now. Just know my ear (and my heart) are always open when you’re ready.”
It may go something like this:
You: “Hey, can we pause for a sec? You’ve been living on fast-forward lately—late-night texts about ‘just one more drink,’ and lots of extra drama. I’m saying this because I love you and I’m genuinely worried.
If something is driving all this, if it’s stress or pain, whatever it is, I’m here to listen. I’m not here to fix you or tell you what to do. I just want you to know you’re not alone in the chaos. Whenever you feel up to it, I’m one call away.”
(Pause and let them respond. If they deflect, gently repeat your concern.)
You: “Thank you for hearing me. I love you, and I’ll always be here—unhinged nights and all.”
I hope this helps if you have a friend in your life living at the extreme. DM me if you try this FRAME to let me know how it worked for you!
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